This Lovely Life
Saturday, October 31st, 2009 | American Literature
I had followed the blog of Vicki Forman and had been saddened by the death of her young son (around which the blog had been written). This is her story, although it’s the story of the first days and years rather than the later ones of her blog. She had been pregnant with twins and had gone into labour at only 24 weeks; although she asked that the babies not be given resuscitation, she was told that was not allowed, and the hospital worked hard to save them. Ellie died after a few days; Evan lived for nearly nine years. He was blind, with significant physical and intellectual disabilities, including a seizure disorder. Vicki found herself fighting the medical establishment from the day the twins were born, who had a different agenda from her. She wanted quality of life for her babies; they just wanted survival.
This book isn’t really about her babies so much as herself. There are tantalising snatches of information about Evan’s life past babyhood, but not much. Mostly it is the medical and therapy circuit, and most of all Vicki coming to terms with what has happened, something she didn’t expect in her ordinary, even perfect, life. How could she lose a child; how could she have a child with severe disabilities; how could her life consist of such a long-term struggle? In the end Vicki concludes that “even a short life is a whole life”, but in a way her book doesn’t say that, because there isn’t enough about Evan’s life. Instead it reflects the horror and shock and indignation of being given a burden, and the slow resignation and acceptance of that burden. It was a book about grief, especially with Evan’s death at the end. It was a good book.
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